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Where haberdashery and geekdom combine
Lesson relearned 
25th-Dec-2008 09:25 pm
Star Trek
I got to relearn a painful lesson today.  Not everyone appreciates cross-stitch gifts.

I picked a pattern that played into my grandfather's love of fishing, the "Why Men Fish" chart by Sue Hillis.  Worked on it for 3 weeks, got it professionally framed and it looks pretty good if do say so myself.  The frame color complimented the fabric nicely.  I wrapped it and waited for him to open it today.

He did, and pushed it under the table to open his next gift.  Didn't say 'thank you', didn't comment on it.  I was flabbergasted.  Once all the gifts were opened and trash cleaned up, I pulled it out and had him show it to my dad (his son).  Dad commented on how nice it was, and grandfather just pushed it under the table again without saying anything.  Lather, rinse, repeat with two other relatives.  Then I gave up.

Never again. Next time I'll get him a bottle of liquor and call it even. 5 minutes shopping and DONE.  No stress, no fuss.  It's not worth it.

The tiny silver lining is that my dad and stepmom did seem to like it, and appreciate the work that went into it.  So there is a good chance they'll be the one to get a stitched gift next year.  Maybe a bottle of wine or a map of Napa Valley, which plays in to /their/ interests.  Anyone know where I can find a pattern of a map like that?  :)
26th-Dec-2008 03:02 am (UTC)
:( Sorry.

I did the following chart for a wine-loving friend:

Not sure of a map though.
26th-Dec-2008 03:05 am (UTC)
That's really frustrating. Would it be possible to take him aside in private and explain how hurt and offended you are?

I gave one stitching gift this year, to grandparents-in-law, so I didn't really care if they liked it or not. I tend to only give those gifts when I completely don't care, or if I know 100% they'll appreciate it.
26th-Dec-2008 03:14 am (UTC)
I feel for you. My elaborate cross stitched gift which catered to my father's interests and hobbies was ignored, and eventually even regifted to ME.


Yup. I feel for you.
26th-Dec-2008 03:26 am (UTC)
Now that's just stone cold. And careless of your feelings.

26th-Dec-2008 03:39 am (UTC)
yeah I was devastated
26th-Dec-2008 03:57 am (UTC)
Ow. Man. Just ow.

Gotta pull up the JarJar Binks: How wude!
26th-Dec-2008 01:42 pm (UTC)
I don't know, I guess I'd say at least you got it back, if he wasn't going to appreciate it. Though I guess it'd be hard to appreciate it yourself, knowing why you made it and why you have it again. :(
26th-Dec-2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah that's pretty much the case. It's a holiday one, but I've never put it out.
26th-Dec-2008 03:23 am (UTC)
I'm sorry that your labour of love was not appreciated by its recipient*. The positive note seems to be that your dad and step-mom appear to be "candidates" for a stitched gift in the future.

*I had that happen several years ago with my SO's family. They were small holiday decorations, but, yeah, they'd been stitched with affection and care. I've never, ever seen them again and it's been 4 Christmases since then. The hells will freeze over and the 100 little gods all die before I do any stitching for any of them again, yanno?
26th-Dec-2008 03:54 am (UTC)
That sucks. Next year get his socks or something. I wouldn't waste booze on an attitude like that.
26th-Dec-2008 03:58 am (UTC)
ROFLGO Great idea...
26th-Dec-2008 03:59 am (UTC)
I shrimpathize ('cause I'm short...). My sister's like that with anything I make from plastic canvas.
26th-Dec-2008 04:26 am (UTC)
Bugger the booze for next year. A lump of coal would be in order I'd say. Or maybe some hankies.
26th-Dec-2008 04:41 am (UTC)
Depends on how big the bottle is and whether the hankies come in a box labeled Kleenex, yanno?

Since the lump of coal has the potential to become a diamond (someday in the far, far, far distant future), I'd vote for something less valuable. Like shale. Or used newsprint.
26th-Dec-2008 04:32 am (UTC)
I wouldn't bother with something as good as a bottle of liquor either.

Honestly, how hard is it to do an insincere thankyou? He could have said SOMETHING, rather than nothing whatsoever.

I'm so upset for you *huuuuuuuuuuuugs*
26th-Dec-2008 10:43 am (UTC)
I am truly sorry to hear what happened. I think all of us have felt that sting before when our loving handmade gifts are poorly received, but yours was particularly hurtful.

Perhaps you should simply ask for the gift back and donate it somewhere, maybe to a home where someone with your grandfather's interests might enjoy it. I'm not sure. Just a thought.

Remember - all of us here appreciate your work!
26th-Dec-2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
That is horrible about the gift... I know I'd be crushed.

On a different note, maybe you'll find some of these patterns to be useful in making next year's gifts?
26th-Dec-2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
*blows raspberry*
what nonsense! i'm really sorry that happened to you. but you're right about your dad and stepmom--reward their appreciation of your work by making them something cool. and give mr. grumpy-pants something cheap and unimaginative.

i did this for a friend once:

i haven't found a map yet, but i did find this: http://www.123stitch.com/cgi-perl/itemdetail.pl?item=06-1959

i only ever had one friend frown at a cross-stitch gift (she took it to mean that i was cheap. which is funny, because if you pretend that you're getting minimum wage and multiply that by the number of hours the project took, that's waaaaaay more than i'd ever spend in a store), and we're not friends any more(there were a few other problems there).
26th-Dec-2008 01:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. Been there, done that. I know how much it sucks.
26th-Dec-2008 01:48 pm (UTC)
I made a cross-stitch ornament for a holiday-party "ornament exchange" earlier in the month. Basically, two 'friends' had a little argument over who was going to get stuck with it, and then I never saw it again (as everyone else was showing off their "pretty" ornaments). Even that bothered me quite a bit, so I can't imagine if it was someone who mattered!

Sorry, love. :( You know you've got lots of ladies who appreciate your work here though!
26th-Dec-2008 02:04 pm (UTC)
Gah!! That's horribly rude and inconsiderate. I'm so sorry! *hug* It's his loss, for not appreciating what a talented granddaughter he has. I'm glad that your dad and stepmom liked it, though, and I'm sure they'll love the one you make for them!
26th-Dec-2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
Screw the liquor, give the man a Brick and Stick. It's all he deserves.

26th-Dec-2008 02:48 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you were treated that way (nevermind the gift)!

I say forget the booze, or anything else, for that matter. If he can't be polite enough to acknowledge a gift, he gets nothing. Let him stew over that.

26th-Dec-2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
Did he react to all the other gifts the same way? I know sometimes people in their declining years aren't really all that with it during larger holiday get-togethers, and maybe he just wasn't in that good of a mood? Or was it JUST your gift he seemed so disinterested in?
1st-Jan-2009 10:18 am (UTC)
Aww, I'm sorry it was unappreciated! :(
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